“Drawing and Running are both the result of an abandoned heart to G-d.

The very nature of love is to pour itself out in extravagant abandonment. To be drawn to Jesus in intimacy will impact the depths our heart, causing us to forsake all for the sake of loving Him. The manifestation of this lovesickness will then be our ‘running’ in partnership with Jesus toward others. And in this pursuit, it also will require an abandonment impacting our time, resources and finances as we do what love does. Lay it all down for the sake of loving Him.”

Diane Parnell

http://rabbielimallon.wordpress.com/2011/04/23/4-23-11-shir-ha-shirim-the-song-of-songs/

It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living. Because we are alone with the unfamiliar presence that has entered us; because everything we trust and are used to is for a moment taken away from us; because we stand in the midst of a transition where we cannot remain standing. That is why the sadness passes: the new presence inside us, the presence that has been added, has entered our heart, has gone into its innermost chamber and is no longer even there, – is already in our bloodstream. And we don’t know what it was. We could easily be made to believe that nothing happened, and yet we have changed, as a house that a guest has entered changes. We can’t say who has come, perhaps we will never know, but many signs indicate that the future enters us in this way in order to be transformed in us, long before it happens. And that is why it is so important to be solitary and attentive when one is sad: because the seemingly uneventful and motionless moment when our future steps into us is so much closer to life than that other loud and accidental point of time when it happens to us as if from outside. The quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadnesses, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us, and the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes our fate.

Letter Eight (12 August 1904)

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
Psalm 23:4

i should go for a jog.

For some reason, whenever I do research on cities, I end up running into jazz and it makes me wonder what the connection is there. I sense a pattern of suffering, expression, passion, poverty, wealth, resistance, playfulness and beautiful brokenness somewhere in the mix of thoughts and ideas that the two words bring up in my head.

A KC native and friend, PA, told me that Kansas City’s known for its jazz, particularly b/c of the speakeasies that popped up during the Prohibition. KC, STL, and Chicago all seem to have that in common…those big ol’ midwestern cities and their shady pasts that produce good art! Lol, I look forward to learning more about the captivating complexities of the cities this summer as I research space, place, and community in the urban environment for my independent study w/JTW.

This is the way I feel…my emotions tell me that in my heart, there is an empty chair. No one sits in it, though not too long ago, someone did.

My spirit and my mind reminds me that the most blessed empty place was the tomb where Jesus had laid for three days two thousand years ago. Though I am still grieving the loss of an intimate relationship, the truth is that in my heart resides the holy presence of the Almighty God…it is once again the throne room of the King of the Universe, and it will never again be empty.

It’s a daily struggle to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and not myself, especially my emotions that the enemy tries to use to intimidate me, overwhelm me, and discourage me…but I know I don’t have to be afraid, and that my hope is eternal…

Until He tells me to go, I’m going to stay put here for a while.